Weekend Coffee Share: Are Screens and Social Media Addictive?


In my humble opinion… a resounding YES! Please read on because I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject.

So, back to my post ‘Gone Fishing’ What did I achieve?

I spent more time in the garden, observed and listened to nature, cooked, people-watched, finished my Portuguese summer homework all 20 pages, listened to Portuguese podcasts to try and improve my understanding of spoken Portuguese and watched a few TV shows…. oh, and I started a daily exercise routine, which so far I’ve stuck to when my body decided to cooperate… (I can’t say the same for the diet). I would like to have explored different areas of Portugal and enjoyed the local beaches but sadly it’s Hell on earth with tourists in July and August.

Facebook: I removed myself from numerous social groups that had become toxic, then logged out because, for me, it was the most toxic and addictive place to hang out. I used to waste hours disappearing down various rabbit holes and now I actively resist temptation.

I warned all my friends in advance that they could only connect with me on WhatsApp…haha… I never figured out how to log out of or delete Messenger.

I will use FB again, but not for social, only for the art, gardening, and cooking groups I follow. I tried to find forums, but they are a dying entity. I know from experience; I used to own one of the biggest writing forums on the web.

Pinterest: This was also a potential time-waster, but I now only use it to gather ideas for a particular project.

Instagram: I don’t post, but I confess it is a good way of keeping up to date with my 15-year-old granddaughter.

Snapchat: I attempt to communicate with my French grandkids on a daily basis with photos or chat but even then, it can be like trying to push water uphill with a rake and I learn far more from their friends.

News feed… somehow I managed to remove the widget at the bottom of my PC screen so I’m no longer tempted to get sucked down that particular rabbit warren. Now I am blissfully ignorant of Trump’s latest threats and antics, Climate change, wars…social and otherwise, including the latest drivel from inept politicians and Harry and Meghan’s latest drama. The snippets I catch on TV and the occasional newspaper article or radio phone-ins are enough to feed my waning curiosity. Life is too short to fester over things that are beyond our control.

Blogging: Yep I have missed the blogging community!

So, after weaning myself off various Social Media platforms, etc. I confess I am probably far more aware of the issues re screen addiction and mental health and as such, this time away has offered the opportunity to take a step back and observe.

For example, when I go to restaurants or bars, I now notice how families, couples etc. interact. Most spend more time absorbed in their phones than in conversation. It’s SO sad. Yes, I often share photos with our family on our social group and it’s lovely to receive theirs …. but beyond that I try and resist temptation.

Have you noticed how many people walk around like Zombies with their heads down, eyes glued to their phones? They even cross the road, totally oblivious to traffic.

Have you watched Toy Story 5? It is sadly didactic.

Are screens replacing toys and human connection and, with them, the art of conversation, play and imagination?

Having just spent two frustrating weeks watching two of our grandchildren literally disappear into their iPhones to the point where the world around them didn’t exist, I am anxious for the future. They should have been enjoying their holiday in Portugal, but instead, they hid in the bedroom on their phones or, if not in their room, at any and every opportunity, wherever. I called them screen zombies. I feel sad. As the years slip away from me, my time with them is precious.

My enquiries about their hobbies and interests away from the screen were met with a shrug as they continued scrolling. It’s not just social media; it is also games etc. One day I watched as my grandson tapped furiously on his phone screen, his face a picture of concentration. ‘What are you doing?’ I asked and without looking up he replied, ‘Playing a game.’ It was the same when we visited them; then it was not only phones it was playing interactive games with friends online via the PS5.

I tried to hold conversations with my granddaughter. Asked her to paint my nails as she usually did. Do some stone painting as we used to… or other crafts. Go for a walk. Nada. The one morning she did ask to paint she lost interest after 10 minutes.

We used to play card games as a family. UNO was the favourite. But not this year.

Will this be known as the ‘Lost or Zombie Generation’?

I think governments are right to intervene and try to ban kids from social media and its addictive algorithms. What about you?

Please don’t forget to share your thoughts on screen and social media addiction.

My thanks to Natalie for hosting the Weekend Coffee Share

41 thoughts on “Weekend Coffee Share: Are Screens and Social Media Addictive?

Add yours

  1. This is one of the topics that i always wanted to speak out about. I love the question you asked in your post, “Are screens replacing toys and human connection and, with them, the art of conversation, play and imagination?”. This reveals that the issue is more than just the screen addiction, it is a digital device as a replacement of something that is more tangible (Humanity).

    On the other hand, through observations, i have also come to notice what you have noticed in my surroundings. People are constantly glued to their phones, what’s even scarier is the fact that only a few of us are talking about this. This behavior starts in our homes. More public awareness of this issue is crucial. If society doesn’t deal with this, the next generation will grow up without knowing what toys, human connection, imagination, and plays are.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi tshimorabothata, thank you for stopping by and sharing your concerns

      the issue is more than just the screen addiction, it is a digital device as a replacement of something that is more tangible (Humanity).

      Exactly, and to some extent I blame parents for introducing their kids to screens so early, whether it is to play games to keep them quiet or to allow them on social media. I have heard it called substitute parenting. I would not like to be bringing up children now. All we had was a video recorder to watch films or to record children’s programs we missed. AND puzzles and colouring books :)

      On the other hand, through observations, i have also come to notice what you have noticed in my surroundings. People are constantly glued to their phones, what’s even scarier is the fact that only a few of us are talking about this.

      maybe some people aren’t talking about it because they are part of the problem and don’t see it as one… especially if you have grown up with parents constantly glued to their phones. It is normal?

      More public awareness of this issue is crucial. If society doesn’t deal with this, the next generation will grow up without knowing what toys, human connection, imagination, and plays are.

      Governments have tried to intervene by banning social media but that is just the tip of the iceberg. Gaming is another issue. Games such as Fortnight etc. My grandson is addicted to this.

      Toys encourage imagination. Even board games encourage human interaction :) I feel so sad.

      Like

      1. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my comment.

        I am glad that you mentioned substitute parenting. The problem is not always the children; it is the parenting. This is the reason why I stated that this behavior starts at home. If a child grows up being glued to their phone without being taught about acknowledging other people and holding verbal conversations, chances are that the child will display the same behavior in public spaces. The reason why we see so many people glued in their phones even though they are in refreshing public spaces like parks or playgrounds, is because the psychological wiring took place first at their homes.

        Another issue that you raised is that parents are also being glued to their phones, which might be one of the reasons that led to kid’s having the same addiction. Every adult or parent should know that every action that they take ultimately influences someone out there, whether they are aware or unaware. A child’s closest influence is not their peers, it is their parents, so parents should not be surprised when they see their child adopting a bad habit when they also practice the same thing.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. You raise excellent points.

          Although I’m not sure on this

          A child’s closest influence is not their peers

          I think peer pressure plays an important part, especially when it comes to social interaction. If all their friends are on screens doesn’t it put pressure on a child to fit in and do the same.

          Have you watched Toy Story 5?

          Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree and I happen to live with two people who’s always staring at their phones. I actually had to dodge my aunt a couple times as she was stomping upstairs while looking at her phone. The garden is such a wonderful place to disconnect. I, too, have started using FB again but only because I find reading other people’s gardening woes and wins are interesting and sometimes, I can help them. Ugh, screen zombies, what a great term.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Pam, it’s been tough but worthwhile. I can now go most of the day without looking at my phone. The only time I do now is when somone sends me a message on whatsapp (friends and family) or to check emails and the wildfire app.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for posting this interesting and thoughtful post. I visited two of my nieces and one nephew recently. Two of them did not put down their tablets the entire time I was there (maybe 30 minutes and their mother was not there at the time). The third child came downstairs and had a chat with me, otherwise there would have been no point to be there. It’s frightening. They have no clue about human relationships, let alone politeness. What will become of them as adults? I find that my (adult ESL) students also are completely attached to their phones.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi ephesians, I have very much the same situation with my youngest grandkids when we visit. IT is either the TV or their games whatsit. Even when we telephone, they cannot take their eyes off the screen for 30seconds. I feel so sad because, as grandparents, it is really difficult to make a connection.

      At least one of the children came down to chat with you and made your visit worthwhile.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wow, that is so sad. Grandkids! I’m going to finally be a grandma in early January. I hope my daughter and son-in-law put restrictions on that. I think they will, but I’m going to pray about that. When we were kids, we HAD to respect our grandparents, but I think we just did anyway. We loved them, although one grandma gave us a run for our money. Hehe.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Creio que especialmente os pais e as escolas terão um papel fundamental no futuro dos mais novos. Porque os adolescentes de hoje já não serão faceis de controlar. Infelizmente, foi tudo muito rápido…e as crianças de hoje têm uma apetência por botões… parece que já é genético!

    Também tenho netos, ainda pequenos. Mantenho a esperança que os seus interesses futuros não se resumam a um écran. Veremos…

    (escrevi em português para que a leitura do comentário seja um treino linguistico!)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ola, dulce. Meu português está mau LoL. Eu uso translate. Desculpe
      Espero sinceramente que alguém tome conta da situação antes que seja tarde demais.
      Sim, “uma apetência por botões”

      Like

  5. Welcome back Carole! My husband’s local cycling friend said a 14 year old girl in his area got hit by a car and ended up in hospital after being glued to her screen. They cannot even look away to cross a busy road. I despair seeing kids today, but it does not help that many parents are way too lenient in trying to be their offsprings’ mates.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Lana. IT’s good to be back after a break. :)

      I despair seeing kids today, but it does not help that many parents are way too lenient in trying to be their offsprings’ mates.

      You’ve hit the nail on the head and it seems so many modern parents take that approach.

      My husband’s local cycling friend said a 14 year old girl in his area got hit by a car and ended up in hospital after being glued to her screen. They cannot even look away to cross a busy road.

      I am not surprised. The kids are becoming Zombies

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Blogging is it’s own kind of addiction, isn’t it, but I do agree with what you’re saying. My husband can’t sit for 5 minutes without picking up his phone, unless the battery’s flat. But he once smoked, so I guess this is better. Not sure what we’re going to do about alcohol. But these are grown up problems. I do think children need limits and I enjoyed the Toy Story clip. Sadly you can’t uninvent these things and the days of playing in the streets with skipping ropes are gone.

    I’m impressed with your progress with Portuguese, Carole. Are you following an online programme or attending a class? I really need more self discipline, though I tell myself… in the winter. Who am I kidding? Nobody xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Jo, haha…blogging does have it’s own kind of addiction but at least it is a record of our life. I am hoping we can download our blog and turn it into a book?

      Sadly you can’t uninvent these things and the days of playing in the streets with skipping ropes are gone.

      our childhood and maybe that of our children was less complicated. I used to play outside until it got dark and only came home when I was hungry.

      I’m impressed with your progress with Portuguese, Carole. Are you following an online programme or attending a class?

      Last SEpt I started a free class in our local town that was following the A1/A2 syllabus. The class was only an hour twice a week and the teacher went at our speed. IT wasan’t focused on passing an exam but more on the language and culture. We finished the A1 and in Sept we go onto A2. There is no exam for us only the knowledge we gained.

      Like

      1. That sounds like a good class, Carole. I need some kind of direction. I’m currently reading Alice Through the Looking Glass in Portuguese and it’s a struggle. It’s really conversation I need. I’m sure it’s available if I just made more effort xx

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Wow, I am impressed. I’ve not tried reading books yet because I’ve not learned the past tense. That’s the next lessons (A2) I also struggle with conversation as we have a lot of Brazilians working in the cafe’s and restaurants here. I have started listening to the Portuguese Lab podcasts and study the vocav for different topics. I am listening to the one on buying clothes at the moment. so I am beginning to catch the nuances of different sounds are actually two or three words not just one :)

          Like

  7. Welcome back to blogging, Carole. Good for you to reduce or remove social media that don’t serve you well. Aside from my blog, I don’t use any of the social media you mentioned and definitely no news feed. I think it’s easy for kids and adults to be addicted to social media. Those tools are built to encourage regular consumption. It takes self-awareness and ongoing efforts to choose to spend our time on a healthier or more worthwhile option (e.g. exercise, time with nature, time with family, etc). Thank you for your weekend coffee share.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Natalie,

      I think it’s easy for kids and adults to be addicted to social media. Those tools are built to encourage regular consumption.

      exactly so and why I am so worried about my grandkids.

      Like

  8. Hello from Australia. Lovely to hear from you and could not agree more with what you have sad! The illustrations you have used are ugly and frightening for the next generation! Australia was one of the first to bring in the media bans – NOT easy > about 75% of the kids have found ways to circumvent! We are in stage 2 and busy parents are not often friendly. I have made it work my way – no problems with news – I have always been a newshound and read about 6-7 papers plus to get an overview daily > headlines plus plus if something is important or interests me. IT for pictorial info and fast to-and-fros with friends. Blogs > a big ‘yes’ for me as I can read/respond if and when it suits me. Gave up totally on Facebook years ago and have not put the others on. If I hear the word TikTok once more I’ll throw something at my poor computer . . . have no desire whatsoever to be part of all those ‘influencers’ trying to make a bob without honest work! Well – that’s me !!! And it works for me!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Eha, it is good to be back after a much-needed break

      The illustrations you have used are ugly and frightening for the next generation!

      Yes, I gave ChatGPT the prompt and that is what they offered which is exactly how I see the youngsters evolving if parents/people don’t wake up and see what is happening. What really saddens me are mothers pushing prams/pushchairs whilst scrolling on their phones. I once observed a mum at a restaurant where not one word was spoken as she spent the whole time on her phone. No interaction with the child whatsoever!

      Australia was one of the first to bring in the media bans – NOT easy > about 75% of the kids have found ways to circumvent! We are in stage 2 and busy parents are not often friendly.

      Yes, I remember as other countries watch with interestbut we all knew the kids would find ways to avoid it. Some of them are far more tech-savvy than their parents…or the parents just don’t care. I do hope the big tech companies find the will to root out those who are disobeying the law. Some parents must see their kids on their phones and check what they are doing?
      As for the news… how to you absorb it all without it making you anxious and angry?

      Like

      1. We are all different. I simply HAVE to know what is going on in the world, good and bad, ALL the time > the way I am ‘made’! Of course I cannot understand, of course I get angry – but I do not get my ‘proverbial knickers in a knot’ . . . I can swear loudly but not get my blood pressure up . . . just go on with my life! I am no good at giving directions but look up a blog called ‘A Happy Quitter’ and its very intelligent Austrian/American author Bridget – she is so angry at all the USA/political news she is writing a daily of the ‘good news’ from around the world . . . I think you would enjoy!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Eha, you are lucky to have the ability to just go on with your life despite the barrage of distressing and crazy news. :) I wish I could be the same but I get overly anxious.

          Thanks for the blog recommendation. I will take a look

          Like

  9. Good to see you again, Carole! I’ve missed your posts. A big, loud YES re: the addictions of cyberspace. I had a major Facebook addiction until I started blogging and until FB became the algorithm, ad-driven, almost useless entity it is today. I use it to keep in touch with family and friends and beyond that, I prefer to hang put here. I like IG because of the photos. I follow many phone photographers there and I like the format. I never got into Snapchat or X or TikTok, so I don’t have those. Our daughter had a deal with our grandkids: for every 1 hour they spent online, they had to spend 2 – 3 hours outdoors without their phones. This had a fantastic outcome, in that both of our now adult grandkids never even look at their phones when they’re visiting us.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Terry, it is good to be back, and over the next week I will try to catch up on my blogging buddies’ blogs.
      This is a great idea

      Our daughter had a deal with our grandkids: for every 1 hour they spent online, they had to spend 2 – 3 hours outdoors without their phones.

      I only got into Snapchat because that’s what the grandkids used to communicate.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I’d love to take my younger grandkids to see the film; they are 5 and 7. Although they do a lot of outdoor activities, which is great, they have a playroom full of toys which I don’t think they hardly use as the TV seems to take preference.

      Like

  10. Absolutely addictive. 100% in favour of government social media bans under age 16. So pleased my daughter limits the 9 and 7 year old– sadly she does not limit herself. I do. I have strict limits and try hard not to doom scroll. I like my Kobo for reading as that is all you can do. I only do FB on the computer once or twice a week, maybe less. I blog and have 15 mins on Instagram. And still my phone usage is too high but I also leave it places and can’t find it for hours. Good luck with the reforms you’ve taken definitely many steps in the right direction.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Bernie, I am like you re: misplacing my phone….which is a good sign, yes? Signals to me we don’t treat it like an extension of our body. I am pleased your daughter limits her children; hopefully it will continue.

      Like

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