Instant Celebrity – I Wish!

Today’s WordPress prompt: Instant Celebrity caught my attention.

If you could be a famous person for a day, who would you be? Why?

I love writing poetry but more importantly poetry that appeals to the masses. No hidden meanings or cryptic clues, just straight forward verse covering everyday subject matter. So if I could be a celebrity for a day it would have to be Pam Ayres – a poet, songwriter and comedian. Her poems and style appeal to my humour as she writes about everything from toothache, snoring to being buried with her dogs so they always had a bone or two to chew on! Yep, that’s my humour.

Pam Ayres
Pam Ayres

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth,
And spotted the dangers beneath
All the toffees I chewed,
And the sweet sticky food.
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me teeth.

I wish I’d been that much more willin’
When I had more tooth there than fillin’
To give up gobstoppers,
From respect to me choppers,
And to buy something else with me shillin’.

When I think of the lollies I licked
And the liquorice allsorts I picked,
Sherbet dabs, big and little,
All that hard peanut brittle,
My conscience gets horribly pricked…

Read more here and check out Pam Ayres website at

Does your Partner snore? This poem is a cracker!

This was my poor attempt at a Pam Ayres style poem.

The Ugly Bug Spring Jive

With the herald of spring the bugs start to arrive
in my Garden of Eden for the “Ugly Bug Jive”.

The weird and the ugly they give me the jitters
who may I ask created these critters?

There are black bugs and green bugs and stripy ones too
perhaps they’ve escaped from the Ugly Bug zoo?

Grasshoppers and spiders arrive at my door
the Jive’s in full swing so they take to the floor.

The Ugly Bug Jive is now the “In” thing
and a great way to cheer, the arrival of spring.

The birds, snakes and lizards come looking for lunch
hmmm… the “Ugly Bug” guests look a yummy bunch…

Gobble, gobble, gobble!

Anyone else a Pam Ayres fan?

5 thoughts on “Instant Celebrity – I Wish!

Add yours

  1. Carole, I remember Pam Ayres with much fondness from when I lived in the UK – she used to be on TV quite regularly then, and her down-to-earth poetry humour cracked me up!
    Your Ugly Bug Spring Jive poem is quite a contender. I remember you reading it to us in one of your posts about the bugs in Portugal, and I loved it!


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