A Priceless Christmas Cake Recipe

One of my subscribers sent me this recipe…Cherry Mistmas!

Christmas Cake
1 cup butter 4 large eggs
1 cup dried fruit
lemon juice
1 bottle brandy
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt

Sample the brandy to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the brandy again to be sure that it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one spoontea of baking soda and beat again. Make sure that the brandy is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner. If the fruit gets stuck to the beaters, prise it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the brandy again to check tonsisticity.

Next sift two cups of salt, or something, who cares? Check the brandy again.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one bablespoon of brown sugar, or whatever colour you can find. Wix mell. Grease the oven and turn the cakepan to 350°.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the brandy again and bo to ged.


36 thoughts on “A Priceless Christmas Cake Recipe

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  1. Of course, before the cake you will need turkey. For this recipe you will be wasted, sorry basted in whiskey:


    First, buy the turkey and a bottle of whiskey. Pour yourself a glass of whiskey and put turkey in the oven. Take another 2 glasses of whiskey and set degrees at 375 ovens. take 4 whisks of drinky and turk the bastey. Stick a turkey in the thermometer, and glass yourself a pour of whiskey. Bake the whiskey for 4 hrs take the oven out the turkey and floor the turkey up off the pick. Pour yourself another glass of turkey. Now just tet the sable, and turk the carvey

    Happy Christmas all …hic !


  2. LOL lololol
    Were you testing us if we were really reading the recipe and the directions??? When I read the ingredients and saw 1 bottle of brandy, naive me thought, wow what an awesome cake that’ll be!! Hahahahaha!


  3. I started by thinking this cake had a lot less ingredients than the one I had just baked yesterday, so might be easier to make….just hilarious! Great Christmas fun! Have a great time in France with your familyxx


  4. I read this thinking about all the people around me who bake cakes that I NEVER get the time to make. Just a bit in the biggest smile appeared on my face. I’ll tell you what, this sounds like my kind of recipe. I’m going to send it to all the women in my life who tell me they have time to bake cakes. Now I know what they are really doing 😉 Thank you for this it made me laugh so much.


  5. i started off reading getting excited about making it as we have all of the ingredients here – well the only dried fruit is raisins with pips. Then laughed as i got to the end. Great recipe!


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