Are you a Technomuppet?

Are you a “Technomuppet”, Technophobe or a “Techie”?

I have just checked an online dictionary and there does not appear to be a definition for “Technomuppet” so perhaps one needs to be created…any ideas please?

I am new to blogging and the challenges presented by the behind the scenes WordPress Dashboard are still, for me, very much trial and error despite their “idiots guide” Perhaps they should test it on piglet! So if you ever look at my blog and think “that link looks odd” or what on earth has “Piglet done there?” please bear with me as I am still experimenting!

For example my blog was recently included in the Go Overseas Top Blogs in Portugal and I was duly sent “html code” so I could add the badge to my blog. (Thanks Go Overseas you made my day!) This was great – but what do I do with this string of mumbo jumbo? An hour or so later and totally frustrated I was still non-the-wiser. Eventually, I had to concede defeat and ask a techie for some help before I wiped out my sidebars and trashed my blog!

Another example of my anxiety for anything remotely technical was my new camera. For someone who can not even operate the TV or DVD remote control, this was always going to present a challenge. My children who have grown up with technology, and realising mother was a little bit of a “Tecnomuppet” decided to buy me what is termed a “bridge” camera. I was informed this was a bridge between POS (point and shoot) and an SLR camera which apparently is really complicated, and less muppet friendly. How wise they were!

However, when we printed off the instructions for my new camera there were still 219 pages to be digested and I secretly thought my God will I ever begin to master this beast?

After a week of total “instruction manual” immersion, I was snapping and videoing everything in sight. I even managed to create a YouTube account
and have just started to upload some videos. These will eventually include: cultural events; villages and beaches; and interesting snippets about life in Portugal etc etc…

When I purchased a new computer in Portugal I insisted, for a small fee, the guy would deliver the beast and set up wireless etc as all the instructions were in Portuguese. Techie instructions in English are bad enough but the added language hurdle, is definitely a jump to far!

I just wanted to switch it on…and go!

I had to laugh as just as the poor guy was about to escape…(at the speed of sound) I rushed after him because as anyone who has a Portuguese keyboard will know the @ is in a completely different place to that of an English keyboard, requiring a totally different key combination to produce the symbol! Pheww

I have to admit, I am/was perhaps a “closet” technophobic, in denial for years, and if anyone has written the “techie speak” dictionary please let me know, as I am now desperately trying to decode the avalanche of words, phrases and abbreviations of the “techie speak”.

This can easily be illustrated in that one day I asked a simple question about sending a short video by email – this was a techies response… “zipping or rarring a file shrinks if it’s not already compressed” and “Instead of zipping select file with winrar, ie right click the file, then if winrar is installed correctly ie in shell, you should have the option to rar it no problem” errrr…hmmm? WOOSH!

Trust me if you are not in the inner circle it IS a totally different language!

Techies could be chanting a magic spell and I would be none the wiser. I listen to, and then try to interpret their “simple” instructions, but as my fingers touch the keyboard my PC is convinced I am practising voodoo or at least some form of black magic as I chant the instructions over and over again. If a techie tells you something is “simple” immediately be on your guard…!

Of course with the added problem of also trying to translate Portuguese you can imagine it’s a nightmare.

Yesterday, my ISP Sapo had problems with their server and I lost internet for several hours. Whilst holding on the help line for assistance in English I was fiddling with my IP and router. Horror! It suddenly occurred to me, not fully understanding the Portuguese instructions, I had inadvertently changed my password and where was the new password sent to? To my email account, which of course, I could not access because I did not have any internet!

When I finally spoke to a very helpful guy at SAPO he immediately became my Knight in Shining Armour as I grovelled, apologizing profusely for my stupidity. If you are considering using
SAPO for your ADSL once you do manage to speak to someone who can speak English, I have found them to be extremely helpful and their helpdesk is open 24/7

I have always embraced a challenge and my adopted motto throughout life has always been “God only helps those who help themselves”. No more!. Techies help those who can’t help themselves! Better get up to speed with their lingo and of course Portuguese! What a great challenge on both counts…

Are you a techie geek, a technophobe or just a Technomuppet?

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